RSS Feed

Blue Print Cleanse…FAIL

Today I am embarked on a crazy little experiment–the Blue Print Cleanse.

A lovely little box was delivered to my doorstep with this giant bundle inside:

These are the first 3:

And these are the other 3:

The cleanse that I selected was the Renovation Cleanse:

The website describes it as follows:

“Caution: The Renovation Cleanse has been referred to as “a gateway cleanse,” as it may encourage you to experiment with the next two levels of the BluePrintCleanse. This “Class-A” cleanse will leave you addicted to feeling amazing and wanting more.

This cleanse is designed for the absolute beginner—the “I’ll have my martini with a side of steak, please” type—and for that we applaud you. Typically the renovating type is one who could stand to lose a few pounds, or perhaps a few more than a few. You like to indulge, sometimes in excess—a few extra drinks here, a few extra smokes there, but hey, who’s counting? Maybe you have a family history of health issues. Point is you’re a real person, who is about to feel real results.”

Upon waking up this morning, I started with a warm cup of water with lemon.

I drank Juice #1 (Green Juice) at 8:00AM

The Green Juice is where the nutrition is at! Look at all of these benefits:

  • Detoxifies the liver
  • Reduces bad breath and body odor
  • Low sugar content; good for Candida
  • Highly alkalizing for pH balance
  • Used in cancer therapy
  • Helps in the growth and repair of body tissues
  • Antioxidant and anti-inflammatory
  • Improves oxygenation of cells
  • Washes kidneys and bladder of debris
  • Contains phloridzin, supporting lung health
  • Prevents growth of harmful bacteria
  • Lowers blood pressure
  • Eases symptoms of menopause

Um, I got through a total of TWO sips and thought I was going to literally DIE. This little baby tasted NASTY! It was like a giant bottle of cucumber juice (I HATE cucumbers…nothing personal…I want to like them, but my taste buds refuse to budge).

Ok, so I decided to go with Plan B.  In the lovely package that the juice came in, they included a cheat sheet.  It said that if you need to eat something try a bit of avocado or produce.  So, that is precisely what I did–

I had some strawberries

 

And about a quarter of an avocado:

 

After my “breakfast” I was feeling all kinds of high and mighty–I figured this would be no biggie.  I went on a little run and came back to enjoy Juice #2:

I drank Juice #2 (PAM =Pineapple + Apple + Mint ) around 11:00AM

This juice was actually not too terrible–the mint was a bit too overpowering, but compared to the 1st one this was a breeze.

Juice #3 was the same type as the morning juice = cucumber debacle.  In lieu of gagging down the awfulness, I had an apple:

 

After my lovely apple snack, Chase and I went out to run errands.  He, of course, got hungry and decided to stop and get a hot dog from this adorable little shop.  I hate hot dogs, but by GOLLY, that hot dog smelled sooooo good.  On our way home we started talking about our plans for the night (Our “little brother” had a music concert at school–he was SO excited about it) and we discussed our crazy schedule for tomorrow (Chase’s medical school ceremonies begin!).  It was around this time,  as my head started pounding and I felt like crap, that I had my come to Jesus moment–WHY THE HECK AM I DOING THIS?!  I thought it would be a fun adventure (I am clearly starved for entertainment…), but this was just awful! Plus, I realized that I was going to be SO stinking hungry/grumpy/awful by the time we went to the concert that I would totally miss out on an amazing memory (and one of our last times with the little bro).

I then promptly made myself two over-easy eggs and all was right with the world—Juice cleanse = OVER.

 

It is kind of ironic because all of the review and testimonials from the Blue Print Cleanse said that it was a “revolutionizing” experience and that it would alter your perspective of nourishment etc. etc.  The irony is in the fact that FAILING at this made me realize that I stinking LOVE real food and that eating nourishing healthy food is just as good, if not FAR better than drinking awful tasting juices.  I want to enjoy nourishing my body–not choke juice down with a grimace on my face.  To me, this is no way to live.  If juicing works for some people, more power to them, but it is NOT for me.  Instead, I am going to enjoy fruits, vegetables, a protein in solid form and enjoy every single BITE.  I am also going to appreciate the fact that eating nourishing food provides me with the ability to nourish and experience LIFE and JOY with people around me.

By the way, I have 4 lovely juices left that need to go to a loving home…any takers?  I will pay you to drink the cucumber one!  :)

Have you ever had a WONDERFUL  failure? Has anyone else ever tried juicing?

 

About paleorunnergirl

I am obsessed with cooking, running and reading! I teach American Literature at the college level, but enjoy books of all kind! After years of GI issues and being prescribed numerous medications, I found perfection in eating Paleo! I am no longer bloated, nauseous, or miserable on a daily basis. I have delved into creating Paleo recipe-making and embracing an active and playful life!

10 responses »

  1. I have never done any of those cleanse things but have always been intrigued by them…. I’m a fan of eating and chewing so I’m guessing I’d be really bad at the whole experience. There are so many failures that lead to success and new revelations. Glad your failure was WONDERFUL! It’s all how you look at it :)

    Reply
  2. I could never, NEVER do a juice cleanse. I would be so miserable. I need to EAT! :-)

    Reply
  3. I don’t think I would have “succeeded” either! But I do love cucumbers, so probably would have consumed all the juices AND eaten eggs!

    Reply
  4. I commend you for attempting to do a cleanse. I’ve never tried one before but I fully recognize that either a) I will kill someone because I want to eat real food rather than drink it and 2) I would probably spend all day in the bathroom, which doesn’t really sound like a fun time to me.

    Can I just say how happy I am that you are back and blogging!? I totally missed you girl!

    Reply
  5. oh man. i would totally fail at that too. i have a hard time just not eating chips in a day!! haha.

    Reply
  6. Hahaha oh my word, I don’t blame you at ALL for giving up. Lately I’ve really been trying to pay more attention to eating “real” foods and it’s made me appreciate their value so much more! Healthy living should be about eating, not about starving yourself or drinking gross juices!

    Reply
  7. I love this WHOLE post!!
    i have never tried juicing simply ebcause i am allergic to too much of the fresh fruits/veggies that go in there that it wouldnt work :( otherwise i actually would love to try it!

    Reply
  8. I was so interested in the Blue Print, but was hesitant to purchase it .. and now I’m glad I didn’t!! haha. At least you tried?! ;) … and I love food too!

    Reply
  9. Haha! I actually loved the green BPC juice! However, I made my own recipes for their second level cleanse, so maybe mine was better than theirs? Either way – I agree with you, juicing sucks. And eating real food is SO MUCH BETTER.

    Reply
  10. I’m so glad you posted this! I, for whatever reason always thought trying out a juice cleanse would be fun, but now you made me come to my senses and I too definetly prefer eating and chewing my food rather than drinking it!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 213 other followers

%d bloggers like this: