RSS Feed

Tag Archives: Failure

Blue Print Cleanse…FAIL

Today I am embarked on a crazy little experiment–the Blue Print Cleanse.

A lovely little box was delivered to my doorstep with this giant bundle inside:

These are the first 3:

And these are the other 3:

The cleanse that I selected was the Renovation Cleanse:

The website describes it as follows:

“Caution: The Renovation Cleanse has been referred to as “a gateway cleanse,” as it may encourage you to experiment with the next two levels of the BluePrintCleanse. This “Class-A” cleanse will leave you addicted to feeling amazing and wanting more.

This cleanse is designed for the absolute beginner—the “I’ll have my martini with a side of steak, please” type—and for that we applaud you. Typically the renovating type is one who could stand to lose a few pounds, or perhaps a few more than a few. You like to indulge, sometimes in excess—a few extra drinks here, a few extra smokes there, but hey, who’s counting? Maybe you have a family history of health issues. Point is you’re a real person, who is about to feel real results.”

Upon waking up this morning, I started with a warm cup of water with lemon.

I drank Juice #1 (Green Juice) at 8:00AM

The Green Juice is where the nutrition is at! Look at all of these benefits:

  • Detoxifies the liver
  • Reduces bad breath and body odor
  • Low sugar content; good for Candida
  • Highly alkalizing for pH balance
  • Used in cancer therapy
  • Helps in the growth and repair of body tissues
  • Antioxidant and anti-inflammatory
  • Improves oxygenation of cells
  • Washes kidneys and bladder of debris
  • Contains phloridzin, supporting lung health
  • Prevents growth of harmful bacteria
  • Lowers blood pressure
  • Eases symptoms of menopause

Um, I got through a total of TWO sips and thought I was going to literally DIE. This little baby tasted NASTY! It was like a giant bottle of cucumber juice (I HATE cucumbers…nothing personal…I want to like them, but my taste buds refuse to budge).

Ok, so I decided to go with Plan B.  In the lovely package that the juice came in, they included a cheat sheet.  It said that if you need to eat something try a bit of avocado or produce.  So, that is precisely what I did–

I had some strawberries


And about a quarter of an avocado:


After my “breakfast” I was feeling all kinds of high and mighty–I figured this would be no biggie.  I went on a little run and came back to enjoy Juice #2:

I drank Juice #2 (PAM =Pineapple + Apple + Mint ) around 11:00AM

This juice was actually not too terrible–the mint was a bit too overpowering, but compared to the 1st one this was a breeze.

Juice #3 was the same type as the morning juice = cucumber debacle.  In lieu of gagging down the awfulness, I had an apple:


After my lovely apple snack, Chase and I went out to run errands.  He, of course, got hungry and decided to stop and get a hot dog from this adorable little shop.  I hate hot dogs, but by GOLLY, that hot dog smelled sooooo good.  On our way home we started talking about our plans for the night (Our “little brother” had a music concert at school–he was SO excited about it) and we discussed our crazy schedule for tomorrow (Chase’s medical school ceremonies begin!).  It was around this time,  as my head started pounding and I felt like crap, that I had my come to Jesus moment–WHY THE HECK AM I DOING THIS?!  I thought it would be a fun adventure (I am clearly starved for entertainment…), but this was just awful! Plus, I realized that I was going to be SO stinking hungry/grumpy/awful by the time we went to the concert that I would totally miss out on an amazing memory (and one of our last times with the little bro).

I then promptly made myself two over-easy eggs and all was right with the world—Juice cleanse = OVER.


It is kind of ironic because all of the review and testimonials from the Blue Print Cleanse said that it was a “revolutionizing” experience and that it would alter your perspective of nourishment etc. etc.  The irony is in the fact that FAILING at this made me realize that I stinking LOVE real food and that eating nourishing healthy food is just as good, if not FAR better than drinking awful tasting juices.  I want to enjoy nourishing my body–not choke juice down with a grimace on my face.  To me, this is no way to live.  If juicing works for some people, more power to them, but it is NOT for me.  Instead, I am going to enjoy fruits, vegetables, a protein in solid form and enjoy every single BITE.  I am also going to appreciate the fact that eating nourishing food provides me with the ability to nourish and experience LIFE and JOY with people around me.

By the way, I have 4 lovely juices left that need to go to a loving home…any takers?  I will pay you to drink the cucumber one!  🙂

Have you ever had a WONDERFUL  failure? Has anyone else ever tried juicing?